12 rules for the balanced woman

By Megan Dalla-Camina, author of Getting Real About Having It All

Life can be hectic, no doubt about it. I have lived it and I know this to be true.

Through my time as a workaholic corporate leader, my academic pursuits in completing two Masters degrees, writing and publishing my first book and being insanely busy as a single mum, I know a few things about the daily juggle.

Many women are searching for something they believe is impossible. Something that they don’t even dare ask for. Women are seeking balanced lives. Lives that they can live well. Space to breathe. Time to live, not just exist. I have been there and I have felt this pain.

The truth is, it is possible to create the life you want to live, and to live in balance. It is also true that many women are waiting for permission to live their lives the way they want to. Well, here is that permission.

From all I have seen and all that I know to be true, I share with you here my Twelve Rules for Balanced Women. It is possible, and you are worth it. Embrace these principles and create space for the life that you are longing to live.

1. DECIDE

You don’t find balance. It is not something you stumble upon on a Sunday morning. You must decide you want it. And then you must make a plan to create it for yourself. Decide you are worth the time, the space, and the investment to create a life that works and in which you can truly flourish. Make a commitment – to yourself. You deserve it, and you are worth it.

 

2. CREATE YOUR OWN VISION

Balanced women know that nothing happens without first getting clear about what they want. Map out the vision you have for your life. What do you want it to look like? What things are really important? Where do you want and need to spend your time and energy?  Create some space to dream about your “Hell yeah!” life, the one you can’t wait to get up for every day. Get clear about that and then you will know what is truly important.

 

3. HONOUR YOUR BOUNDARIES

Many women struggle with boundaries. We don’t know where we should have them. We don’t want to seem pushy and, let’s be real, we don’t want to piss people off. But you need to protect what’s important. And once you are clear about what you really want, setting boundaries and keeping them in place is vital so you can focus on what really matters to you. Without them it’s just a slippery slope to that hot, crazy mess you don’t want to be. Work out where you need your boundaries to be and lock them down with superglue.

4. KNOW WHAT WORKS FOR YOU

Don’t try to replicate someone else’s life. You need to be true to yourself. Your best friend might get up to run every morning at 5.30am but you prefer to sleep as long as you can. Stop judging yourself for what you do. Notice the elements that make you thrive and then implement them consistently. The only person you need to make happy is you. So do what works and remember, don’t judge your insides by someone else’s outsides.

 

5. BE A SUCCESS, BUT NOT AT ANY COST

Balanced women know about success and they have their own definition for what it means. For some it is career accolades, for others it is running a happy home. But all balanced women know where to draw the line before success starts to come at too high a price. Determine what you want your success to look like and keep it in check, put your boundaries around it and look after yourself while you go get it. There shouldn’t be a price to pay for getting what you desire. Live your life on your own terms.

6. IGNORE THE NAYSAYERS

You can hear them scoffing when you mention the word “balance”. They are the ones who say it’s a pipe dream. They are the fearful ones. They don’t know any better. But you do. You know that just because others say you can’t have it, doesn’t make it true. You know you can create this life for yourself because you have seen other successful women do it. You know it’s possible so ignore the naysayers. Create your own path.

7. PUT YOUR WELLBEING FIRST

Did you have a violent reaction to the suggestion that you put yourself first? Many women do. It’s just not in our nature to put ourselves at the top of the list but it needs to be. You need to be well to live a balanced life. You must look after your health and vitality to live your best life. Make you your first priority and bring the colour back into your life.

8. ASK FOR HELP (AND ACCEPT IT)

Where is it written that you have to do this all on your own? You don’t. Ask for help. Balanced women know that it’s a sign of strength to reach out to others. This one is super important. Work out who can help you and ask them. I have found that people rarely say no and genuinely want to support you in creating the life you want to live.

 

9. TUNE IN

We all have voices in our heads that guide us through our days. Often it’s the bitchy voice that tells us we are not good enough, that our thighs are too fat and that we can’t have what we want. Well it’s time to tune her out and tune in to the nurturing inner voice that is our intuition, our inner guide, who knows what is best for us. Bring some silence into your days so you can tell the good voices from the bad, and learn to trust your inner wisdom, your inner goddess.

10. LEARN TO MEDITATE

The fast track to hearing and trusting your inner guide is through meditation practice. Balanced women get over the fear that they can’t meditate, and learn to sit with the practice that can change everything. I ask my coaching clients to sit for five minutes twice a day in stillness, eyes closed, following the breath. When thoughts come and go, gently bring your attention back to your breath. Gradually you can extend this time. But just five minutes can be life changing. Give yourself this gift of time and space as it is a core piece of the balance puzzle.

11. MANAGE YOUR ENERGY

Most people think of time as the most critical resource. But balanced women know that energy is the most important currency they have. What builds your energy? What or who depletes it? When you are bursting with positive vibes, what are you doing or who are you with? Nourish, nurture and restore your body, mind and spirit. Your energy will thank you for it.

12. MAKE NO APOLOGIES

As women we spend so much time apologising. We say sorry for the small things and we say sorry for the big things. Stop apologising for yourself, your opinions, your choices. Own what you want, what you do, who you are and everything in between.

Start here.

Decide.

Become the balanced women you know you can be and create the life you dream about.

This blog is dedicated to my worderful sister!!! <3 Glade to have you in my side.